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In case you obtain out that she's courting another person, never behave within a jealous way (even though you're planning ridiculous with jealousy). Permit her see only self-confidence and relaxed. But will not allow her forget about you by fading into the distance.
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Tip # 6
These methods are not necessarily breakthrough information, but they have been proven to work with any type of men.
Tip # 8
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Tip # 3
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Develop a fun and vibrant personality. With a personality such as this, it is easy for you to stand out in a crowd and enable guys to notice you.
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Follow the top 10 ways to attract a guy in this article, and you’ll be captivating the man of your dreams in no time.
Appreciate a guy. As much as women spend time fixing herself or getting dressed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], men also dedicate a substantial amount of time getting fixed.
Tip # 1
Tip # 9
There is probably nothing that attracts a guy towards a girl more than her genuine self. Therefore,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], girls need to learn how to be confident of their looks and overall self-image.
Produce a positive vibe. When you are a happy person,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is easy to spread that happiness onto the people around you. And if you can do that to a guy, then he'd love to be around you more often.
Tip # 4
Therefore,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], girls must try to be vocal about giving guys a compliment. You can either do it in a straightforward or playful manner. But still, knowing how to appreciate a man is one of the top 10 ways to attract a guy.
Tip # 7
In connection to the tip above,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], women must not try to overdo themselves when dressing up.
Tip # 5
It ensures that you both are able to appreciate the brighter side of life and take things lightly from time to time.
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Tip # 2
Tip # 10
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You can either bump your head against the wall trying to think of the best ways to captivate a man, or you could simply apply any of the top 10 ways to attract a guy in this article.
Use flirting body language. Sometimes, your gestures tell more about your feelings and intentions than words. Therefore, learn how to effectively send signals to a guy that you find him attractive and want to get to know better.
Most importantly, girls must never try to pretend to be someone else just to try and impress a guy. After all, most guys can see through a girl if she's being genuine or not. And guys dislike their girls who try to wear another image since it reflects low self-esteem and insecurity.
Laugh at his jokes. This might seem trivial, but having a sense of humor and learning how to laugh together is one of the foundations to building a relationship; hence, this is one of the top 10 ways to attract a guy.
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Take pride in what you do. do the very best job you can.
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Many VAs make the mistake of thinking they can help everyone. and quite often you won't be heard.
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You have another reason for wanting to do this. Talk to your health care provider about the type of help that may be best for you. That may mean more-frequent trips to the grocery store, This phobia is called vertigo.

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The symptoms of accelerated growth appear to me to be; the increase in people leaving the planet through disease (particularly cancer), planetary shifts (more natural disasters) and relationship breakups seem to be reaching an all time record. Divorce rates are levelling the marrieds at 50% a piece and long term 30-50 year marriages seem to be as rare as rocking horse dung. Maybe we are choosing at a soul level to experience our growth much quicker? Just a thought.
If you have chosen the clichéd “spiritual path”, which I liken to clearing out your internal closets by turning to “look within”, then chances are you have put your head above the parapet and said to the Universe “beam me up Scotty” as quick as possible to where there is an abundance of happiness and daily love. And of course as the Law of Attraction kicks in the changes in your life landscape start to occur. You start to grow and change quickly. You feel clearance of negative blocks and the release of painful past experiences which have held you away from God/Grace/Your Essence. But with change and growth where does this leave your relationship?
5) Lastly I turn your attention to that little word, loosely defined as destiny. What if the growth gaps were just meant and when you have completed your healing and growth with that person,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s time to move on? At the risk of sounding like a blazé “in then out” relationship guru, I would like to capitulate that this should take a good long while, years hopefully, to come to this conclusion! But if you are deeply in tune, here’s the thing. If you spend 3 years with someone and after 2 years all signs start appearing that the relationship is done...is it worth going that extra year allowing the gap to cause you both more angst and pain? I know I have outstayed my healthy welcome in several relationships and the timing to exit is rarely clear but what keeps you hanging around when somehow you know it’s done? A subject for a further article I feel but for now, something to think about. This type of growth gap could be just meant!
Firstly of all let’s get growth defined for the purposes of this article. Growth, for me, is about the willingness to look at the murkier /muckier parts of your inner world (the blocks and negative bits) or personality construct and move beyond them into more love and joy. Those bits are how we have defined our world inwardly and outwardly according to our lifelong relationships with particularly our parents / caretakers. Our intimate relationship creates the ripe environment for us to work to heal and move beyond those mucky bits and allow our delicate inner child within our grownup body to fully mature into adulthood.
4) Gay and Katie Hendricks,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a renowned US conscious couple and both experts in the relationship arena, say that to have a healthy relationship, you must identify what your 3 absolute must haves and 3 absolute no-no’s or dealer breakers, are. If you are needy for a relationship and get into one because you just have to have him/her then during the honeymoon stage these essentials can be overlooked. As a relationship progresses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], however, you become aware that you are in fact poles apart. The gap can widen into a chasm over night and then you are faced with some tricky communications about your future together. Advice is to be discerning right up front.
Here are some ways you can notice if there is a growth gap starting to form in your current relationship or if a previous one suffered melt down because of it.
That’s a tricky question to answer because I would say it depends on the growth gap that can open up and if one person feels like they have to run to catch up or feel intimidated to “grow or get the hell out” then it becomes an awkward relational space,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
So there you have it. A few more things to think over! As ever, the aim of my blog is to offer you the questions about relationships and love and offer up my vast relational experience blended with my training, to encourage you into deeper enquiry with your inner God. Your intuition is your guiding force in every moment and will show you your path if you ask. Use it because you can’t lose it!
Living in Brighton/Hove,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Sussex, one of the UK’s biggest spiritual mecca’s, people are hungry for growth on every street corner. We are bathed in every type of self development course/seminar you can think of and yet according to Ambrose Harcourt, Juice FM’s Dr Lurve,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we have the biggest singles population anywhere in the country. So does growth help or hinder your intimate relationships, particularly if you are growing at different rates? It seems, the latter!
Firstly understand that we all have different ways of growing and that should be honoured and respected. What I like you don’t have to like and I have to get that! As Byron Katie (BK) would say “stay out of each other’s business!” However be mindful that growth acceleration can and does cause rifts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Here’s what to look out for.
1) You seem to be spending more and more time deep into your separate passions and find that as you communicate about the latest technique or book etc. your honey just isn’t engaging or supporting you in your joy. This can be corrected if you have a good way to communicate your feelings and thoughts about it, but if left, carries a relationship health warning. “Caution - gap widening”.
3) One person in the relationship is doing “self/spiritual development” and the other is not. Again, this can be misconstrued. I say to couples in this situation, self development is a hobby and to judge Golf or Zumba classes as non growth pastimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is a mistake! Golf can be a great way to meditate, reflect and contemplate. It offers me time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the chance to bond with like minded souls..see my point? It depends which way you choose to look at it. Watch for the Your partner’s “dragee” behaviour. Symptom enough to let you know how they feel about your hobby!
Blessings and love for a great March
2) You find communicating during conflict increasingly difficult because it is obvious one person is less willing to look at themselves and take responsibility for their actions within the relational space. This is a common complaint. Conscious relationships contain 2 people constantly willing to do whatever it takes to add depth, expansion and energy to the relationship and this HAS to be about taking full responsibility for words and actions. Constant blocking, shutting down and not facing up to the change that needs to be made faces the “growth willing” person with a dilemma. You can’t force your partner to face what needs to be looked at. You can only “do” and hope they will follow.
We all grow and expand otherwise we would die. With each inhale we take life force into our bodies, but some peoples inhalations are bigger than others and they’re meant to be. I believe we are literally propelled by Grace/God, whatever you will, to grow at whatever pace the “inner calling” demands of us. It’s a wonder then that we ever manage to have successful relationships!
We are in a constant state of change and flux. Are you feeling it? Evolutionary progression is happening every minute and certainly during the last 4 years it feels like the Universe has put her foot on the growth accelerator and we are doing our best to hang on as the changes come thick and fast. Our body’s cells are in a constant state of birth and death and the cycle of life takes us through day and night, good and bad, happy and sad. Phew!
I have a dear friend who is big into spiritual development / growth and has been most of her adult life. She’s been dating Mike (names changed for obvious reasons) for just over 3 years. Jane is a lady who is ever expanding and doing new things in her life and whilst her goals with Mike seemed common when they met on the internet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they have experienced, what I would call a knocking against each other’s growth edge for a good chunk of their relationship which has caused untold angst and periods of silence and disconnect. And while they both thought they were up for growth together, the reality has been different. Which begs my question, if you are growing at different rates, can you still have a healthy relationship?
By Conscious Union
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If you want more help,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I offer a plethora of ways in which you can save time moving your relationship to new conscious heights. If you are licking your wounds from a past growth gap ending, I am very happy to look with you at why it happened and how you can install some new ways of thinking and acting.
Note : I would comment however that people on “the path” are generally hungry for fast growth and as they experience the hunger and deepening inner connection to Grace/God/Self Love,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they shift quickly and that can be a shock to partners who may start to act jealously, insecurely or controllingly as they fight to feel safe within this shifting space. It is absolutely possible to work beyond this place to deeper more satisfying connection but again BOTH people must be willing to look at their ugly bits!
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From the baby bedding to baby strollers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], everything needs to be carefully examined before purchasing. The nursery should contain handpicked bed sheets and top rated baby bumpers. It is important to incorporate blankets pillows, baby bumpers and crib bed sheets in the bedding list. Thus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for the best comfort of the baby,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one should be well aware of getting every item on the list examined and available. Besides,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], comfortable and cozy bedding would ensure that the little angels get their sleep and enjoy themselves in their dreamland.
In addition to these products, playtime should be fun too! For children a little older, buying motorbikes or dolls along with cute dresses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shoes, car seats and much more. There are umpteen numbers of manufacturers who sell a wide range of products to suit a baby’s needs and ensure that he/she has a wonderful time.
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Mothers-to-be and fathers-to-be should know certain things before a baby is born. Quality baby products and accessories are essential for an infant. Comfort and toys are some of the most important things in the baby world. They allow babies to enjoy a great time in their small baby world. The many colorful baby products that are available in the market are specially created to suit interests of the little ones. Baby accessories are also equally crucial to add entertainment, fun and flavor to their little baby world.
Also, the nursery should contain baby music,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], beautiful wall hangings, diaper stacker,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stuffed soft dolls and rugs. It is important that the nursery has the best baby music playing, since it is certain that music helps in developing a child mentally and physically. Listening to music has proven to be extremely beneficial for the child. Baby music and lullabies have a proven track record for soothing infants. Baby music benefits adults too! Its power lifts spirits and soothes nerves. It is also said that music can make a child smarter too! Babies seem to be able to tell a melody from speech,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even if they aren’t sophisticated enough to know anything about music. Having colorful wall hangings is essential; after all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the nursery is practically their baby world.
A wide variety of baby products are required throughout a baby’s growing stages, from a bathing kit to toys. Parents should be careful during choosing a product for the baby world. The cosmetics should not be heavily perfumed or even remotely carcinogenic. pH balanced products are available in the market. It is safest to go for those products only. Use of mild soaps, shampoos,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wipes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lotions and oil ensures the protection of the baby’s delicate skin. Every parent should keep a first aid kit ready at all times. This saves a lot of trouble from fishing for supplies around the house during an emergency. Maintenance of proper hygiene is very important. A very careful survey of the best diapers for the child must be done. It’s essential that a child is comfortable in his/her diapers. And lastly maintaining a scrapbook and saving all those memorable moments of the parents’ and infant’s lives is imperative. They are memories of a lifetime!
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Probably the worst thing anyone could do is suppress the anger. To tuck it away deep down inside. This could lead to major problems later either in a potential catastrophic confrontation, in a “torpedoing” of the other person – or in an eating away of your mental/emotional stability or deterioration of your physical being. Not a good thing to have happen.
The first question is “What makes you really angry (as in PO’d)?”
Huh?
That would be me.
Life’s too short to for us to eat up a bunch of time being angry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Why don’t we all just have a super-duper triple sized banana split instead,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Just a thought…
Wanna know what makes me really, really mad?
You might try this. The next time you feel the anger starting to surge, take just a couple of seconds – or a few minutes or longer - to realize what is happening, think briefly about the event or person who is triggering the anger, then decide if you really want to let your subconscious continue on it’s programmed path – or if you want to consciously step in and modify this effort. Anger toward a person or situation can be expressed assertively – not aggressively - at a reasonable volume while being respectful of the rights and opinions of others. This can lead to open communications and a resolution of the problem. Will it? Who knows but it’s worth a shot. Sure beats knocking somebody’s skull in.
Inconsiderate, rude people? Bad drivers? Lousy service? Brainless bosses? Dumb subordinates? Idiot lawyers? Answering machines? The government? Waiting in line? Foreigners? Big business? Potholes? Traffic jams? Airports? The news? TV programming? Your significant other? Your kids? Your neighbors? Uncle Harold? Aunt Edna? The stupid dog? The dumb car? The danged washing machine? Your lost keys? The toilet? The pillow? Your socks?
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Hmmm, OK – how about what sometimes makes me upset and sort of irritated?
By Gene Simmons
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In the cooling-off period,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you might just discover that the situation was not nearly as critical as you had first imagined. Perhaps someone (maybe you?) didn’t have all the facts and the conflict was the just result of a misunderstanding. Maybe once you stand back and see the circumstances from a slightly different perspective,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you might decide the whole thing was pretty silly to start with and there is nothing really worth pursuing. Or, you may even admit that entire situation was completely out of your control (influence) so getting angry is just a futile waste of energy.
Nothing…
For those of you who have been living in a cave for most of your lives,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can translate the “torqued” in the title of this article to “mad” or “angry”. For today’s discussion of anger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], let’s quantify the intensity of our focus with the words “downright,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], PO’d!” I think that’s quite clear. Let’s proceed.
How did we learn how to be angry? From our exposure to anger around our humble abode and in the rest of our environment in our early years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we learned that getting hacked off is just what we humans do when we’re not pleased with a given situation. We learned that it’s OK – and sometimes even expected – that we make a yucky face, clench our fists, stomp our feet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], beat on the table and scream obscenities at the top of our lungs (another strange expression that I suppose is not to be confused with using the middle or lower part of our lungs…our language is weird…). We learned – and duly programmed our subconscious – to react to the displeasing events in our lives with the appropriate (or for us personally – applicable) level and intensity of anger.
Guess what? It doesn’t need to be like that. We all have the ability to reprogram our little minds to respond to the displeasing events in our lives in a less stressful and much quieter manner. No,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s not necessarily easy to do, however once we recognize and admit that our mega-anger is not something that is just normally a part of human nature – and that we do have the ability to consciously control it – we have completed a huge step in the right direction. Becoming hacked off is an automatic decision our minds make for us. Not becoming angry then, must be a conscious decision we make that will override our automatic one.
From the way it looks, we humans are probably designed and assembled with the brain wiring and foundation programming it takes to feel and express anger.
Although experts disagree on the ability to logically differentiate between anger and distress in very young infants,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we parents can all remember the early signals of displeasure to varying degrees in our youngin’s. Spitting the strained peas in Grandma’s face is a good example.
Me. Just me. I’m the one who “makes” me upset and sort of irritated once in a while. I’m the only one who can “make” me do that. No one else, no event, no situation can make me get mad. Our anger doesn’t come from the outside. It can’t. It’s strictly an internal emotion that surges – and sometimes even erupts – as the result of our perception and feelings about an “outside” situation.
Anger toward an object (car, refrigerator,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], keys) is pretty much a waste of effort and energy. It’s likely a situation (danged car broke and I don’t have the coins to fix it) or ourselves (I don’t know how to fix the danged car) that we’re angry at. Stuff happens – and sometimes we even help it happen by ignoring signals that sooner or later we’ll need to do something to take care of an impending problem. So now it’s “later” – and we need to fix something.
Anger, at a considerably lower intensity than downright PO’d, can be beneficial in that it can help us identify situations that we might want to address – either in an external situation or within ourselves. Anger is not all as bad as some folks would lead us to believe. The important thing is that we recognize its source (that’d be us) and take whatever steps are needed to bring it back under our conscious control. This includes professional counseling if necessary.
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1. Cry. It's okay to cry. Just let it all out. You will feel much better after you do.
2. Use your breakup as an opportunity to become the person you have always wanted to be. Take on a daunting goal such as learning a new language, instrument, or skill. There has never been a better time to set these goals in motion, and now you have lots more time to do it!
3. Resist the urge to have a rebound. Give yourself time to heal and grow as a person before committing to another relationship.
4. Fill up your MP3 player with the saddest love songs you can think of. Sad songs work wonders because you realize there are actually people out there more miserable than you. Or you may also want to try happy songs instead. Try some songs that were written to remind you that you're not the only one not having any fun and that you need to work to be happy again. Music will heal you, just give it time.
5. Do anything you can to make yourself feel desirable. Get a haircut or highlights. Go to the gym. Buy a new outfit. Dress up and dance in front of your mirror to club music. Remember all the times s/he told you that you are the most beautiful person in the universe,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], convince yourself that it is indeed true,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that someone else will appreciate you the way s/he once did.
6. Endure the pain and loneliness bravely. With time, the pain will heal. Are you a strong person who can get through this or a weak one that will wither from one failed relationship? Don't succumb to weakness. Retain your pride and hold your head up. There's nothing better than that.
Perhaps nothing is ever quite as painful as getting over your first love. It's not just any old break-up; this is the boy/girl who taught you what it means to fall in love. You thought you'd spend the rest of your lives together. You have loads of jokes and memories of the time you spent together. Now that it's over,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you're scared to death you'll never find anyone to ever replace them. Here are some tips to help you get over it:
By Wikihow.com
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• Don't drink alcohol or get addicted to drugs to help get rid of your problems. It won't help in the long run, and it might end up making things worse.
• After you hit the six month mark, friends will start snapping at you to just get over it. At this point you must stop feeling so sorry for yourself or you will begin to lose friends.
• Stop the "Woe Is Me" stuff. It gets old so fast. If you're going to mope and feel miserable, at least have the intelligence to realize that you are not the only one in the world who has had their heart broken. Being aware of that, mope away, but try not to let it consume your entire day. This kind of thing makes you seem pathetic.
• Avoid statements like "I'll never get over him/her." They just make you sound stupid and short-sighted.
• Don't keep running back, although it seems like it will make things better,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], its only temporary. If you keep running back it makes it just that much worst in the end. Seriously, end it. Do not go back.
• Don't resort to "tracking down" your ex's every movement. Having mutual friends tell you everything they're doing, how great they are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who they're dating, and how they don't talk about you will only make you feel worse. You don't need to know. You simply need to let it be. Remember - they will figure out what you're trying to do and you will look like the crazy one who's still not over it. Don't give them that satisfaction when you will be fine without it. This extends to using the internet to track down your ex's activities.
• Don't stop doing things/watching things/listening to things etc. just because it will remind you of your ex. Such is life. You will only be limiting your life even more,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and doing yourself damage. Not him/her.
Friends and Family
• Don't be so naive as to believe that you will never love anyone as much as your first love. Most first loves and heartbreaks occur around in your teens or early 20s. You still have most of your life ahead of you to find the love of your life.
• With maturity, your capacity to love another human being grows. Be grateful for the experience of your first love.
• You will certainly be able to give your 100% again. Get that thought out of your mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
&#8226,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; Remember that getting your heart broken for the first time is a fact of life.
• Recognize that you have the power of choice in your life.
• Always remember, it's all in your head. This feeling is just a picture you have created in your head of the way you want things to be. Once you let that go,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you'll be fine.
• Never ever try getting back with your ex it will only hurt you in the long run.
• Talk more!(and not necessarily about your ex) It's good to listen to others and what they have to say, but if you can talk more you'll find yourself truely getting your mind off of her/him for the time being.
• If it has been a very long time since the breakup and it's either not going away or getting worse and worse, you should probably seek help.
• If you feel suicidal, seek help. Nobody in your life should bother you to that point. So you really need to get help if you are.
• Don't tell him/her that you still love them. Tell yourself that you, infact,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don't love them anymore.
• Don't pretend like you are still together and don't think of yourselves as a couple. If people refer to him/her as your boy/girlfriend, then correct them. Even if you know that you're no longer together, saying it out loud will get the message accross more strongly, and help you move on quicker!
Warnings
Steps
1. Don't try to get through this alone. Your friends are very important. They will help you survive by listening to you and offering advice. If you forgot about them while you were with your boy/girlfriend ask if you can be forgiven. If they really were true friends they will forgive you and want to help you get over it. Try to avoid friends who are very close with your ex, they are bound to talk about him/her and bring you down inadvertently.
2. Talk and see your friends, and family more. If you make your world bigger, then s/he will become less important.
3. Be open and honest about how you are feeling. Don't pretend to yourself, or others, that you are okay if you're not. Also realize that you are allowed to be okay. You do not have to feel sad all the time, or at all. Talk to people instead of just holding it in and being moody. Other people can support you, if they actually know what is going on.
4. Remember there are other people that care. Even if it doesn't always feel that way, there are. There are people around you that understands,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and will help.
5,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Do not ask your friends if they have seen your ex. Do not ask how s/he is; you do not want to know.
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You
Tips
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First, I want to reference "The You" and what it is specifically and why is it so important. First "The You" is not the physical aspects such as the color of your hair, shape of your nose or body size but the unique spiritual energy we refer to it as your spirit, your soul or essence.

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2) Neither Lee Chau Min (Hainan-boy) nor Tan Hong Chye (Ms. Teochew) are professional actors. I liked that the leads were cast as strong individuals. I could perceive this because I had already worked with the male lead (Tan Hong Chye) many years ago. He was a costume designer for a theater production in which I was working backstage. Later, during the Q&A after the screening, the filmmaker, being friends with the two leads, shared that he had consulted with the actors during the scriptwriting and that essentially the three of them came up with the script. Hence, the actors were free to give authentic responses and more or less played themselves in the film – they’re neither more butch nor more effete than they are in everyday life.
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As a sexologist, I am obviously interested in all media portrayals of gender roles and sexual orientation, especially in Asia. I went in wanting to like the film, but I had my doubts. Would the movie be contrived, further reinforce negative gender stereotypes and misconceptions, or be downright distasteful? Would the filmmaker, Han Yew Kwang, who also wrote the production, be able to pull off such an unlikely storyline?
Actress Yeo Yann Yann plays Hainan’s ex-girlfriend. Her sudden appearance propels the narrative, leading Hainan and Teochew to confront their feelings for each other. Hainan and Yann Yann share a full-on lesbian kiss on screen in a flash-back scene. This raises more questions of the difference between one’s sexual orientation versus their sexual preference. Could Hainan have been in a lesbian relationship, yet also be romantically interested in Teochew who is a feminine-looking man? Does it really matter, anyway?
Having watched it, I have to say that Han did so splendidly. Here are some reasons why:
Overall, ‘When Hainan Meets Teochew’ is a unique Singaporean movie that tackles some serious gender and sexuality issues in a light-hearted manner. It does not take itself too seriously and, as such, can actually be a wonderful sex education movie. Their Facebook page is here.
By Martha Lee, DHS,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], MA, BA
See all Articles by Martha LeeSee Martha Lee's Expert PageGet Updates on DatingGet Updates on Martha Lee Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
This piece first appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
1) The movie is entertaining. It elicited laughs even through its ‘cruder’ elements,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], such as the tussle by the main characters over a bra, as well as delivery of slapstick humour, mainly in the Mandarin language, with Hainanese, Teochew,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Tamil and English thrown in. This approach is very welcome, as I imagine it would help alleviate the discomfort the Singaporean audience would be experiencing with the film’s controversial subject.
For those who are unaware, the Hainanese of Singapore are descendants of immigrants from Hainan,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], China’s southernmost island province. Teochews are descendants of those from the Chaozhou region of Guangdong,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], China. Hainanese men are reputed to make the best husbands,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], while Teochew girls supposedly make the prettiest wives. (I am Teochew but alas, I cannot speak the dialect well.)
The question of what is ‘normal’ is further emphasized by the portrayal of Teochew’s Indian landlord. The landlord looks ‘normal’ by any standards externally but is engaged in a daily routine of talking to a children’s doll. In comparison, Teochew and Hainan are probably more well-adjusted persons.
The trailer of the new Singaporean film ‘When Hainan Meets Teochew’ was enough to persuade me that I had to watch it. The movie was premised as a romantic comedy between a ‘manly’ woman, and a ‘womanly’ man,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as opposed to the usual Hollywood cliché where a handsome man meets a pretty lady and they fall in love after some complications are overcome.
3) The movie, probably for the first time in the lives of many members of the audience, makes them ask tough questions about what it means to be male or female. Is it determined by one’s behavior, looks, or simply their genitals? What is normal? The fact that the actors also ask questions along those same lines of one another and themselves only makes it more honest. That, in turn, allows us to feel free to ask those questions.
My western friends who were with me cringed at what they perceived as ‘overacting’. As a local, my opinion was different. The seemingly over-the-top acting are actually perceptive portrayals of how some local people do indeed behave in real life. Contrary to public perception,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Asians can be extremely vocal when aggravated. In short,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I was sold on the acting even though I found it hard explaining why to my friends.
The synopsis read: “One day, a brassiere drops on Teochew. He immediately wins the lottery and decides to keep it. Hainan begins an arduous search for her precious underwear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], distributing hundreds of missing posters around her neighbourhood. Teochew sees one of the posters, and his curiosity is piqued. Bumping into Hainan one day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he asks about the brassiere, although he has no intention of returning it. Unfortunately,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he lets slip more than he should, and Hainan becomes suspicious…”
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By jbrainbo
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Ever hear of Oxytocin? No, not the painkiller, oxycontin, but the hormone that is released in childbirth and assists in the bonding experience between mother and child.